Christmas Caroling, Doctor Who Style!
by Shivver
Summary: Doctor Who-themed Christmas carols for the holiday season! Warning: High silliness content! Almost done - last carols to be posted on Christmas day!
1. The Invasion Carol

It's Christmastime, and that means hacking apart beloved Christmas music and inserting your own irreverent words! Great fun at two in the morning when you can't sleep!

* * *

**The Invasion Carol**

_(sung to the tune of "Good King Wenceslas")_

* * *

Robot Santas' big brass band

Shoots at Rose and Mickey.

Jackie's new tree comes to life,

Situation's sticky.

Doctor wakes and sonics it,

Christmas tree's no more,

Tells them they are pilot fish

And crashes to the floor.

...

Good ship Guinevere flies out,

Finds a spaceship dock.

Bug-eyed monsters trash-talk Earth,

Loudly yell, "We rock!"

A-plus blood types climb the roof.

Blake's a pile of bones.

Now the fate of humankind

Rests on Harriet Jones.

...

Blue box makes a bleeping noise.

"Bring that craft aboard!"

Rose and Mick get captured now,

While the Doctor snored.

Rose commands them all to leave.

Leader mocks her thinly.

But he's speaking English now.

Doc says, "Did you miss me?"

...

Doctor takes control right now,

Though he's still not ginger.

Lightning whip is useless now

Though it tries to injure.

Doctor slams the button down,

Breaks the blood control,

Challenge to the Sycorax,

Swordfight takes its toll.

...

Leader knocks him on the ground,

Lops off hand with sword.

It grows back, is it witchcraft?

He is just a Time Lord.

Doctor knocks him on the ground,

Gets him to surrender.

Bloke attacks when back is turned,

Satsuma is the ender.

...

Back on earth, the group arrives.

Tylers celebrate!

Minister tells guns to fire.

Doctor sees too late.

PM Jones destroys the ship.

She still thinks she's right.

But she's looking tired now,

Reign won't last the night.

...

Doctor roots through clothing stands,

Finds a coat and suit.

Joins the Tylers for the feast.

Pink crown looks so cute.

Outside ash and spaceship parts

Looks like snowing magic.

Rose says she will stay with him.

It will be fantastic!


	2. O Come All Ye Daleks

**O Come All Ye Daleks**

_(sung to the tune of "O Come All Ye Faithful" while using a voice modulator)_

* * *

O come, all ye daleks!

Descend upon the planet!

Round up the humans and

Exter-er-minate!

Conquer the world,

Spread out through the universe!

O fear, we shall destroy you!

O fear, we shall destroy you!

O fear, we shall destroy you!

To vi-ictory!

...

O rise, Cult of Skaro!

Follow Dalek Sec!

You're charged to think just like

The enemy thinks.

Fly through the Void,

Furthering our glory!

O Skaro's children rise!

O Skaro's children rise!

O Skaro's children rise!

We shall be supreme!

...

O come, kill the Doctor,

Evilest of Time Lords!

The ancient enemy,

The Oncoming Storm!

Bringer of Darkness,

To him show no mercy!

O come, we shall destroy him!

O come, we shall destroy him!

O come, we shall destroy him!

Exter-erminate!


	3. Reindeer No 1

**Reindeer #1**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

Billy the First Doctor

Came around in '63.

We only got to meet him,

Because of Verity.

...

Sydney, exec producer

Didn't want BEMs.

He made them rewrite Billy,

Doctor's a real gem.

...

Then the second episode,

Daleks came to kill!

Thals were going to run away,

But the Doctor saved the day!

...

Then all the children loved him!

So did the BBC!

Doctor, the famous Time Lord,

You'll go down in history!


	4. A Christmas Wedding

**A Christmas Wedding**

_(sung to the tune of "Away in a Manger")_

* * *

Away in the TARDIS

A bride just appears.

The Doctor is startled,

says she can't be here.

Her parents and boyfriend

Are starting their search.

The Doctor and Donna

Head back to the church.

...

The bride sees the blue box.

She cannot believe.

A robot cab santa

Kidnaps her and leaves.

A motorway rescue,

The Doc tries to do:

Then Donna jumps to him

And upwards they flew.

...

Return to the party,

But robots attack.

The answer's at Clements

So they must go back.

The lab's in the basement,

Way under the town.

The bad guy's a Racnoss,

She finally beams down.

...

She's drilled to the center

Of the humans' world.

The Doctor asks why and

Flees with the bride girl.

They view the Earth forming

From space dust and rocks.

The Racnoss ship's buried,

They see from the box.

...

The spider queen needs a

New key for her plans.

She cuts a brand new one

From poor traitor Lance.

The Doctor returns to give

Racnoss a choice.

Refusing, now kill him,

She says to her boys.

...

The Doctor has pockets

That hold a control.

The robots fall silent,

The queen fails her goal.

The bombs break the walls

And the Thames floods the hole.

Then Queen flees but Saxon

Destroys her ship whole.

...

It's Christmas! The Doc

Covers Chiswick with snow.

She asks him to dinner

But he just says no.

He asks her to travel but

She stays at her home.

She tells him he really

Should not be alone.


	5. Reindeer No 2

**Reindeer #2**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

Patrick the Second Doctor

Had some giant shoes to fill.

He wasn't sure he'd fit in.

Everybody loved old Bill.

...

He chose a new persona.

He'd be different by far.

He was the cosmic hobo,

Playing music 'mongst the stars.

...

Sometimes silly, sometimes mad,

Always quick and keen,

Did the things he knew were right,

First response was never might.

...

He set the standard for the

Doctors that would follow on.

But the Time Lords damned him

And soon number two was gone.


	6. This Christmas, Don't Blink

**This Christmas, Don't Blink**

_(sung to the tune of "Angels We Have Heard on High")_

* * *

Angels we have seen on high

Turn to stone and cannot move.

Look away and they draw nigh.

From the present, you're removed.

Dooooooon't blink!

The lonely assassins.

Dooooooon't blink!

The lonely assassins.

...

Faster than you can believe.

Timey-wimey stuff, they stalk.

Movements that you can't perceive.

View them, they get quantum locked.

Dooooooon't blink!

Fear the Weeping Angels.

Dooooooon't blink!

Fear the Weeping Angels.


	7. Reindeer No 3

**Reindeer #3**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

Jon the Third Doctor

Found himself stuck on Earth.

He couldn't work the TARDIS

Right after his rebirth.

...

He chose to stay with UNIT

Working with the Brigadier.

Sarah Jane also joined him,

Who would soon become so dear.

...

The Time Lords let him fly around

To do their dirty work.

Fought the Master several times,

Tried to stop his heinous crimes.

...

They finally fixed the TARDIS,

And he left the Earth with glee!

If any tech confounds you,

Try reversed polarity!


	8. Reindeer No 4

**Reindeer #4**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

Tom the Fourth Doctor

Wore a scarf that's twelve feet long.

He was the strangest Doctor

That had ever come along.

...

He had some crazy bug eyes

And a toothy manic grin.

He traveled with a tin dog,

a Time Lady and humans.

...

He was sent far back in time

To stop the Daleks' birth,

He refused the time rewrite

Knowing it just wasn't right.

...

He was the longest runner,

Being Doc for seven years.

When he finally regenned,

He left Britain all in tears.


	9. Reindeer No 5

**Reindeer #5**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

Peter the Fifth Doctor

Was nothing like who came before.

Tranquil and bright and sunny,

Like the clothes he always wore.

...

His passion was for cricket

Though he rarely got to play.

He tried to get poor Tegan

To Heathrow almost every day.

...

The thing that haunted him the most

Was Adric's sad demise.

He cherished his companions

And for them he'd sacrifice.

...

It was uniquely fitting

Life ended on a noble note.

He gave his life for Peri,

Giving her the antidote.


	10. A Christmas Cruise

**A Christmas Cruise**

_(sung to the tune of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear")_

* * *

The TARDIS crashes into a ship,

The vast Titanic of old.

The Doctor lands, steps from the door,

Sees passengers decked in gold.

The spaceship brought them to view the Earth

From high on Christmas day.

The Doctor changes to tux and tie,

There'll be no trouble today.

...

The ship is tended by robot host,

And Astrid serves passengers drinks.

There's Morvin, Foon, with buff'lo wings,

They don't care what people think.

The Doctor takes the maid to Earth,

Enthralled by the brand new sky.

They're pulled back due to a power fail.

But the Doctor wonders why.

...

Up on the bridge the captain lets

The officers enjoy the night.

Midshipman Frame stays by his side.

Two officers up there is right.

The captain drops the shields to let

Some space rocks destroy the ship.

The flaming craft will fall to Earth,

A crash to end the trip.

...

Survivor's group starts trav'ling up,

Through halls and stairs that are blocked,

To reach the bridge and save the ship.

The next thing has left them shocked.

The host were dressed in angel garb

But they only wanted to maul.

Poor Morvin fell, the conker flashed,

And Foon then saved them all.

...

The Doctor's safe with fair Astrid

And Copper and Rickston Slade.

The Doctor heads to the deck below,

To find the game that's been played.

The cruise ship's owner's been going broke

And crafted this insurance scam.

Then Astrid grabs him and leaps to death

And ends the psychopath's sham.

...

The crippled ship is plummeting.

The host fly the Doctor to Frame.

The ship will land right on London town.

The disaster spot's always the same.

The storm drive burns, he saves the ship,

But the maiden is already gone.

The Doctor opens the port to space

So her spirit will always live on.


	11. Reindeer No 6

**Reindeer #6**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

Colin the Sixth Doctor

Had a mane of bushy hair,

And a motley costume

That made humans stop and stare.

_..._

Arrogant, brash, and stubborn,

He often could his friends offend.

He was the worst to Peri,

She trusted him in the end.

_..._

The Time Lords brought him back to trial

Because he interferes.

The shady plot he tried to halt,

Turned out it's the Council's fault.

_..._

Later, he traveled with Mel,

And others like Evelyn.

An attack from the Rani

Regenerated him again.


	12. What Doctor Is This?

**What Doctor Is This?**

_(sung to the tune of "Greensleeves")_

* * *

What man is this who answers to

The maiden calling for "Doctor"?

He's strong, he's brave, he's confident,

But he doesn't remember the others.

John Smith will join him now,

Companion with Rosita.

Search for his missing past,

Discover the Doctor's future.

...

The reverend's house is full of clues,

Some infostamps are hidden.

The Cybermen attack the Doc,

But John defends him unbidden.

Meanwhile, Miss Hartigan

Attacks the mourners with Cybermen,

Spared four to make them slaves

To bring her poor London's children.

...

The Doctor now returns to home.

A stable filled with a dead man's things.

They're Jackson Lake's, a traveler,

The Cybers' wrath incurring.

Doctor, your TARDIS flies

On heated gas, its tethers tie.

John sees your missing past.

Now, do you want to know?

...

Now, Jackson Lake, he came to town

And met the Cybers planning.

He shot them with the infostamp

But his brain it also was spanning.

Ten men, it showed to him,

The hero that could help him win.

Run from the painful past,

And Jackson became the Doctor.

...

There's more to it, because there is

Too many trunks for just one man.

He lost his wife in the fearsome fight,

And from that mem'ry he ran.

Elsewhere, Miss Hartigan

Set children to their laborin'.

Fooled pawn of the Cybermen,

She's now the Cyberking.

...

Oh, Jackson and the Doctor,

What will you find in the children's lair?

A boy who runs to Jackson's arms:

He's found his son so fair.

"Go, go, protect your son.

You've found him now, your work is done.

Leave me to fight the King,

You have something to live for."

...

The Doctor flies the balloon on high

To see Miss Hartigan's glory.

He offers her the chance to leave,

To change the end of her story.

"Here is what you've become,

The sorrow, pain, what you have done."

She stops, at last repents,

And he sends the wreck to the Void.

...

The Doctor shows the TARDIS to

His friend, his mate that is Jackson.

It's all a treat, but where are they,

The bright and shining companions?

No, no, he's all alone,

His friends all call other places home.

Go, go, and dine with Lake,

In mem'ry of those who we've lost.


	13. Reindeer No 7

**Reindeer #7**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

Sylvester the Seventh Doctor

Seemed to be a silly clown.

But as he traveled onward

His myst'ry would astound.

_..._

Ace was his long companion,

Always carried Nitro-9.

But under his guidance,

Loyalty she'd define.

_..._

They arrive at Maiden's Point

And Fenric's just released.

The Doctor destroys Ace's trust,

Fenric's scheme is blown to dust.

_..._

After all, Ace still loves him.

That's because she sees him true.

Somewhere out there, there's danger.

We have got work to do.


	14. Reindeer No 8

**Reindeer #8**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

Paul the Eighth Doctor

Was reborn in the U. S. A.

He shared the first on-screen kiss

With Doctor Holloway.

_..._

He didn't get much screen time

Having only had one show,

But he was the longest Doctor

In the books and audio.

_..._

He would travel with C'rizz,

Charley, Tamsin Drew.

Gosh, his timeline's so complex.

He's not the one that we expect.

_..._

He fled the growing Time War,

Didn't want to join the fight.

Then shunned the name "the Doctor,"

And he chose the warrior's might.


	15. The War Reindeer

**The War Reindeer **

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

John the War Doctor

Was born out of dire need.

The Time War had dragged on so long,

It was time to intercede.

...

He spent his decades fighting

On the front lines of war.

When the second city'd fallen,

He decided then, no more.

...

The Moment took him on to see

The men he would become.

They neutralized the two Kates' threat,

So many saved by his regret.

...

His future and his past selves joined him,

To hide Gallifrey away.

He reclaimed the title "Doctor"

On that bright and shining day.


	16. Box of Blue

**Box of Blue**

_(sung to the tune of "Silent Night")_

* * *

Box of blue,

Deeply blue,

Shines its light,

Sees us through

Threats and trials from evil's might.

Doctor guards us through darkest night,

Bringing hope to us all,

Bringing hope to us all.


	17. Reindeer No 9

**Reindeer #9**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

Chris the Ninth Doctor

Was very scarred by the war.

He was rooted in the present.

His past he wanted to ignore.

...

His best friend was Rose Tyler.

His first word to her was "Run!"

She would show him hope and promise.

His closed heart would come undone.

...

Down 'neath Utah's desert sands,

A Dalek fueled his rage.

She saw the lonely Dalek's plight

And helped the two souls see the light.

...

The Vortex would kill Rose so he

Freed the Bad Wolf energy.

Rose was just so fantastic,

And you know what? So was he.


	18. Reindeer No 10

**Reindeer #10**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

David the Tenth Doctor

Started out his life with Rose,

But then they lost each other

When the walls between them closed.

...

He fought to check his power

When he traveled all alone.

He needed friends to help him

Like Donna and Martha Jones.

...

He found the perfect traveling mate

In DoctorDonna's soul.

The Time Lord mind would burn her through.

He wiped her mind and lost her, too.

...

Gallifrey tried to come back,

He sent them back to hell again.

He died alone and crying.

All he wanted was a friend.


	19. A Christmas Carol

**A Christmas Carol**

_(sung to the tune of "O Little Town of Bethlehem")_

* * *

"Oh Kazran Sardick, help us now,

Our spaceship plummets down.

We need the cloud bank cleared away

To safely land on ground."

"Now, see, I run this planet,

And don't care what you say.

The cloud bank stands, the ship will crash.

Now will you go away?"

...

The Doctor sees the miser stop

From hitting the poor lad.

The old man tries to stop himself

From being just like dad.

The Doctor travels backwards

To find out what went wrong.

And Sardick sees his hist'ry change,

It was such all along.

...

The Doctor shows him flying fish,

They have to sleep a shark.

To get it back up to the clouds,

They put it in an ark.

They meet the pretty lady

Who's sleeping in the ice.

They hitch a carriage to the shark

And fly all o'er the skies.

...

On Christmas Eve, the Doc and boy,

On every passing year,

Take Abigail out from her box

And show her Christmas cheer.

Young Kazran's deep in love now.

The young girl tells the truth.

Then Sardick cancels Christmas Eve,

Because he's outgrown youth.

...

Now in the present, Amy goes

To show the ship's distress.

The ship's crew sings to give them hope,

But Sardick's not impressed.

See, Abigail was dying

When she was put on ice.

The Doctor taught him life's not fair,

His anger will suffice.

...

Oh Sardick, there's behind you now

Your own self from your past.

The sight of him does melt your heart,

You'll save the ship at last.

But the machine won't listen,

Your spirit's changed too far.

The only one who'll clear the clouds

Is Abigail, your star.

...

Now Kazran Sardick's made the choice

To waken his true love.

She'll sacrifice her very life

To part the skies above.

The spaceship lands in safety.

The Doctor flies away.

And Kazran and his Abigail,

Together one more day.


	20. The Meta-Crisis Reindeer

**The Meta-Crisis Reindeer**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

David's another Doctor,

A regeneration from

The hand the alien severed

That Harkness kept in a drum.

...

It took a meta-crisis

To make him reality.

He and the DoctorDonna

Fulfilled mad Caan's prophecy.

...

Davros' plan began to fail.

Companions fled the fire.

The Dalek empire still would bide.

He chose to commit genocide.

...

The Doctor saw that he was

Angry like he was before.

He sent him off with Rose Tyler,

Together forevermore.


	21. Reindeer No 11

**Reindeer #11**

_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_

* * *

Matt the Eleventh Doctor,

The youngest of the Docs by far,

He had a manic manner

That people thought was so bizarre.

...

To Amy he was devoted

And so she also was to he.

He was realized from nothing

Solely from her memory.

...

He died at Silencio

Killed by River Song.

River then became his wife.

Yes, that's the order of his life.

...

Foes would often disregard him

Because he always played the fool,

But he's still our greatest hero.

Always think: bowties are cool.


End file.
